True Friends

Today I will be giving two illustrations, and you can decide at first what you believe is the truer friend.  At the end of this post, I will give scripture about who really is the truer friend.

So your pastor preaches a message in church about how if your significant other that you have not yet married isn’t a spiritual leader, then you need to run very fast in the opposite direction he is going.  Your heart is shattered, knowing that you’re in a bad situation. Who knows, this guy might even get a bit abusive if you try leaving.  You are attached to this boy, and you hold a lot of memories with him.  Instead of going to your parents, Sunday school teacher, or pastor/pastor’s wife, you decide to get advice from two close friends.  “They’ll tell me what to do!” you think to yourself.  Surprising to you, you receive two totally different views on the entire situation.  Here are what your friends had to say:

Friend #1 – Who does that pastor think he is, telling you what to do about your relationship?  You love your boyfriend– he completes you {click for more on being “complete”}.  After all, remember that promise ring he gave you?  Now that is real love.  Pastor Know-It-All just needs to mind his own business.  He has no right to tell you that, he’s just trying to hook you up with his nerdy son.  Do what makes you happy, girl.  Whatever makes you happy, makes me happy.

Friend #2 – I kind of agree with your pastor.  I mean, he did take verses from the Bible, didn’t he?  You need to really think about what he said.  If he isn’t a spiritual leader now, then he won’t be one when you’re married unless a miracle was to take place.  If he isn’t leading you in the right direction, then he really doesn’t love you.  Love is doing what’s best for someone.  That promise ring means nothing if he isn’t willing to show you true love.  I’d get counsel from your pastor and his wife, they seem to be happily married.  Wouldn’t you want advice from someone who’s been where you have been?

So who do you believe is the truer friend?  Of course taking the advice of Friend #1 would seem so much easier, considering you wouldn’t have to break up with your boyfriend, give up that fancy ring, or go through all of the heartache, right?  But let’s think about this– First off, she’s disrespecting a man of God.  Secondly, she’s not telling you what you need to hear, she’s telling you what you want to hear.  Here are some scriptures from the Bible that will clearly tell who is more of a true friend:

Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful. 

~ Proverbs 27:6

He that rebuketh a man afterwards shall find more favour than he that flattereth with the tongue. 

~ Proverbs 28:23 

Ointment and perfume rejoice the heart: so doth the sweetness of a man’s friend by hearty counsel. 

~ Proverbs 27:9 

He that speaketh truth sheweth forth righteousness: but a false witness deceit. 

~ Proverbs 12:17  


What these verses are saying, is that true friend is someone who will tell you what you are in need of hearing whether it’s what you want to hear or not.  It breaks their heart to see you upset, but they know that soon enough your heartache will be over.  They are not judgmental, hateful, or rude– They are trying to help their friend in time of need.  What I am trying to get across is that we shouldn’t push away Godly counsel just because it isn’t something we want to hear.  Any person who gives you the advice of doing whatever makes you happy because nothing else matters is either ignorant, or they aren’t a good friend at all.  We ought to choose our friends wisely.  Jesus is the dearest friend we could ever have, and His Word is always stepping on our toes, isn’t it?  A pastor who preaches God’s word is a true friend.  This principal is true, whether it be towards Sunday school teachers, parents, or anyone else.

Having a friend is not about knowing someone for a long time, or even having a lot of memories.  It’s about having someone there who will give you Godly counsel– Counsel that will direct you towards the right path.  Sometimes a good friend doesn’t necessarily give you a load of advice; they might just direct you towards someone who is much wiser than they are.

Now to focus on ourselves.  Are we as true of a friend as we could be?  Do we give Godly advice?  Don’t ever hesitate to tell your friend what they need to hear.  Always speak in a Christ-like manner, and never with a judgmental spirit.  If your “friend” pushes you away for giving Godly counsel, then it is safe to say that they were never your friend in the first place.  Keep standing up for what you believe in, don’t let your standards slip {click for more on slipping standards} into thinking that keeping your mouth shut when you need to speak will draw people closer.  Strive to be a friend like “Friend #2”– Don’t face the heartache of watching a loved one get hurt because you didn’t speak up.

Don’t ever push away a friend just because they tell you something that you need to hear instead of telling you something that you want to hear.  A true friend will try their very best to be more and more like Jesus everyday.  They will be there no matter what you face.  The friends that will tell you what you need to hear instead of what you want to hear, are the friends that will last you a lifetime.

Be a friend that will last a lifetime.

A friend loveth at all times…

~ Proverbs 17:17a

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6 thoughts on “True Friends

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